My ex was one of those with the “everyone is out to get me” mentality. Silly me, I thought my happier presence might be contagious, alas he had been immunized…
The person has to be uncomfortable enough with the effect of their outlook on others to want to change. Some people never get far enough past their own belly button to notice.
I deal with depression and anxiety too, but beneath that is a very hopeful girl who knows she’s loved by her Creator, no matter what. ❤️
Julie, I think it's true--the person has to want change. But one thing I've done that helps me is to hope for recovery but keep low expectations and love them in spite of all the darkness. Hugs to you. Honestly, these nationalists drive me nuts. ~Linda
When the "high hopes" are really your agenda to force change, however noble or good, I think many people sense it and resist. God loves us unconditionally--much harder for us humans. I will say it's easier to walk away from a spouse, mom, dad, extended family members than it is your child. I distanced myself from my mother's alcoholism but my kids have a special hold only moms know. At least that's my opinion. ~L.
LBB, as usual your writing delivers with such a relatable clarity. Thank you for this piece. I too have a family member with that persistent negative outlook; and oh the jubilation when that person chose to change it up. OMG. And continues to make that choice, as that outlook has its own kind of bindings that need releasing anew, often with frequency. Plus, it unleashed her quick wit, allowed for joy to flood in and for her to have an overall happier life. So I know of what you speak.
Re: 'the opposite of addiction isn't abstinence but rather connection.'** Whoever thought of that is genius. I've seen addiction in my family as well (I almost think no family truly escapes that one).
Yours,
LNBB
**did I use the non-quotes correctly? since I didn't directly quote but changed it slightly?
When people say they're just so tired of trying to get their loved one to change (often about addictive substances) it can mean they aren't getting the results THEY WANT (IE, SOBRIETY). If you have such a loved one, I find it best to let go of expectations while maintaining hope. Quotation marks used correctly are for tightasses. LOL You did fine. Much love and hope to see you again soon, LBB
My ex was one of those with the “everyone is out to get me” mentality. Silly me, I thought my happier presence might be contagious, alas he had been immunized…
The person has to be uncomfortable enough with the effect of their outlook on others to want to change. Some people never get far enough past their own belly button to notice.
I deal with depression and anxiety too, but beneath that is a very hopeful girl who knows she’s loved by her Creator, no matter what. ❤️
I love “stay home and bake babies” 😆
Julie, I think it's true--the person has to want change. But one thing I've done that helps me is to hope for recovery but keep low expectations and love them in spite of all the darkness. Hugs to you. Honestly, these nationalists drive me nuts. ~Linda
Oh—and those nationalists drive you crazy for a reason—there’s no logic or rationality!
My mother and my ex had those narcissistic traits, and I was so sure love was enough. But it wasn’t.
I agree about our kids—that’s pretty much impossible…
That’s a great way to look at it—I had too high of hopes.
When the "high hopes" are really your agenda to force change, however noble or good, I think many people sense it and resist. God loves us unconditionally--much harder for us humans. I will say it's easier to walk away from a spouse, mom, dad, extended family members than it is your child. I distanced myself from my mother's alcoholism but my kids have a special hold only moms know. At least that's my opinion. ~L.
LBB, as usual your writing delivers with such a relatable clarity. Thank you for this piece. I too have a family member with that persistent negative outlook; and oh the jubilation when that person chose to change it up. OMG. And continues to make that choice, as that outlook has its own kind of bindings that need releasing anew, often with frequency. Plus, it unleashed her quick wit, allowed for joy to flood in and for her to have an overall happier life. So I know of what you speak.
Re: 'the opposite of addiction isn't abstinence but rather connection.'** Whoever thought of that is genius. I've seen addiction in my family as well (I almost think no family truly escapes that one).
Yours,
LNBB
**did I use the non-quotes correctly? since I didn't directly quote but changed it slightly?
LNBB,
When people say they're just so tired of trying to get their loved one to change (often about addictive substances) it can mean they aren't getting the results THEY WANT (IE, SOBRIETY). If you have such a loved one, I find it best to let go of expectations while maintaining hope. Quotation marks used correctly are for tightasses. LOL You did fine. Much love and hope to see you again soon, LBB
Bravo!!!!
Thanks, Pam. Your light shines. Hugs, Linda