Full-spectrum Light Therapy

Even Micro-LEDs Will Work

The other day, a man dressed in a suit came to my door asking if I wanted to see a documentary. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was a religious guy doing his church’s duty. I never knew what denomination, although I had suspicions.

When I said I was a committed Jesus Follower, he immediately backed off his spiel. But after he left, (without handing me any tract or pamphlet) I thought about this approach to life. How come some people never seem to hear the “Good News?”

I’ve read that since the pandemic, depression has run rampant over Americans’ historically sunny outlook. I battle it myself at times. Somehow unseen forces pull my head out of my you-know-what until there’s a breach of darkness and light gets in. Maybe this is what it means to have angels bear you up. I don’t have many stones to dash my foot against, but the ones there are of my own making.

Some people think the universe is plotting against them. No matter what happens, they still believe that they’re destined to get the short end of the stick. Sometimes it comes out as isolation. Other times, rage and bitterness flood the zone. Depression is anger turned inward, they say.

This affects a person I love.

I find it much more difficult to watch those I love suffering with so much negativity. Sure, anti-depressants and other meds work miracles for some—I take one myself—but so far, this particular person’s misery clings stubbornly, like a bad smell that doesn’t come out in the wash.

My rescuer personality makes it hard for me to not jump in and try to fix things. I always want to say, “Yes, life sucks but there’s more to it than darkness.”

Now, some think that going door-to-door is serious heavenly business. Maybe it has won over people. I’m OK with that. But as someone who loves a very nihilistic person, I can tell you that trying to change people—even for good reasons—seldom works.

Because the only one I can change is me.

Jesus didn’t so much love people once they changed. He loved people so that they could change. -Fr. Richard Rohr

People want to feel better. But they don’t change because they’ve hit bottom and everything looks like up. In my little opinion, change comes from the deep end of the heart.

We could debate on whether God just marches in and rearranges people’s lives or whether the changes are more organic. As long as full-spectrum light emerges, it’s a win.

But for those stuck in the outer darkness, understanding love and being willing to give and receive it almost always comes from some ordinary person. An ordinary joe who hands out sandwiches to the hungry, visits a prison, gives a cup of cold water or listens to the depressed tell you everything that’s wrong in their world.

The opposite of addiction is connection.

This was Jesus, the least of these, acting in love to everyone he met. Whether you think you’re saved or you don’t want anything to do with all that, you have to admit that this Jesus guy had some pretty radical ideas. He wanted us to love God (no matter how we define that) and our neighbors (pretty much everyone). That’s it.

No dogma, no rules, save for the rule of love triumphing over an eye for an eye. My beloved depressed person gets agitated and says, “none of that Jesus stuff for me!”

I think about that, how triggered we can be when some in the faith want to roll back women’s vote and let us stay home and bake babies.

But love seems to be bigger than these small ideas, and those of us who’ve tasted real love can never get enough. So how can anyone convince a depressed person to open their heart to love?

Maybe I’ll start by getting off my high horse and listening. Self-destructive behaviors, such as substance use or thinking the sky is shitting on you every moment stem from trauma. As I’ve learned with my own family, using drugs or alcohol is filling a hole. A deep need born of great hurt.

Look a person in the eyes and smile with your whole face. Be on the prowl for positive things and be ready to praise. There’s a reason people love animals—they don’t judge or give crappy advice or ask you if you’ve heard the Good News. Cats and dogs just gaze into your eyes, slow blink or lick your cheeks, saying, “Hey you’re pretty awesome. Let’s be friends.”

They say the opposite of addiction isn’t abstinence—it’s connection. Connection that might help someone change their mind about the universe trying to do them in. Connection that often way too slowly cracks open a tiny fissure. But then, blinding flashes can wake us up for real.

That’s the kind of light we all need when we’re sinking in a snowdrift of winter sadness. It could be a flaming torch or a micro LED. I want to be a child of the light, so that when I encounter someone’s deep deep pain I can dive in with the angels and help hold them up. Not to save, but to swim alongside. That’s pretty good news.