Bless you, dear Linda. I remember those early days of my own personal mourning so well. The ache that wouldn’t go away, the stabbing pain whenever I was reminded Dick was gone… and he wasn’t coming back, the grief when I saw couples of any age-with or without children-and realized I was all by myself for the first time in my life. Grief is real and mourning is necessary. Slog through it with the confidence that God is especially close to you while He is restoring your soul. And at the other end of your mourning you will realize that God means it when he says he will be a husband to the widows (Isaiah 54) and you will grow to love him in a way far deeper than ever before, with all your heart and soul. Sending love and praying for your heart. ❤️
Thank you so much for your sweet message. Since Brad was so ill the last ten years I've been accustomed to being alone, yet not alone. I took over the things he once did in our marriage--but as sick as he was, I drew strength from being able to hold his hand or kiss his forehead. Now God will really have to step up, ya know? LOL. I bet He's up to the challenge.
Linda, a pastor’s wife once told me that she did her best writing during a time of depression and grief. I found that to be true for me as well. I’m glad you have a place to write about your own grief journey. Your writing has always been deeply beautiful. Where would we be without the Love of Christ Who sustains us through the darkest days?
Please know you are prayed for and very truly loved.
How beautifully said! When we hurt so bad that there's nowhere to turn but to God, then we can best see how love sustains us. Thank you for prayers and your love. Another writer you know had her husband die just a couple weeks after Brad passed. Seems unfair for folks to die just as the Savior is born anew. Take care and keep writing! Love, Linda
Reading this brings back the big aching, yawning wide black hole of grief I felt in the first weeks following my daughter's sudden death. There was no love big enough to fill that hole inside of me.
So, I decided to own that hole. Feel all the vast emptiness of no Sheila. And then I remembered shortly after her birth, when I was grieving the loss of the "perfect" baby, the message of hope in the words, "Instead of asking God why this happened to you; ask why this happened for you."
My daughter with Down syndrome brought so much light, love and laughter into our lives, she would not want me hanging out in that yawning black hole of grief.
Months later, riding and owning my rollercoaster of emotions, her love is still there. I pray you find the love and support you need as you move through your own process of healing.
Nancy, How wise and beautiful. Having 3 sons with addiction/mental health issues has taught me to value people where they are, not where I wish they were. I feel honored to hear your story. God has a zillion ways to of leading us to love. Warmly, Linda
Love’s tentacles…like double-sided Velcro because you reach out to people, they reach out to you, and connection happens, however flawed.
I pray that tomorrow as you celebrate Brad, fond memories fill your aching heart. Please, God, walk with Linda through this day and encircle her with your presence and never-ending love
Love’s tentacles…like double-sided Velcro because you reach out to people, they reach out to you, and connection happens, however flawed.
I pray that tomorrow as you celebrate Brad, fond memories fill your aching heart. Please, God, walk with Linda through this day and encircle her with your presence and never-ending love.
Thank you for sharing as you deal with this grief—it made me so angry when people gave me platitudes and “I’ll one-up your grief” comments. Then I’d be standing on the back porch talking to my Creator, saying “I can’t feel you right now but I know you are there!” Grief is a crazy animal.
I really try hard to keep in mind that people aren't trying to be idiots. But death's finality scares us into thinking we can stave it off with dumb comments. Loving my kids with addiction/mental illness has helped me see that people are mostly doing the best they can--even if their best is to act like a clod. Love and hugs for this new phase, Linda
Yes, Linda, that is one thing we can count on.
And how great it is that when we get to heaven, we’ll see our husbands, hale and hardy, fully conformed to Christ’s image—and so will we be, ✝️🙏🏻❤️
Bless you, dear Linda. I remember those early days of my own personal mourning so well. The ache that wouldn’t go away, the stabbing pain whenever I was reminded Dick was gone… and he wasn’t coming back, the grief when I saw couples of any age-with or without children-and realized I was all by myself for the first time in my life. Grief is real and mourning is necessary. Slog through it with the confidence that God is especially close to you while He is restoring your soul. And at the other end of your mourning you will realize that God means it when he says he will be a husband to the widows (Isaiah 54) and you will grow to love him in a way far deeper than ever before, with all your heart and soul. Sending love and praying for your heart. ❤️
Julie,
Thank you so much for your sweet message. Since Brad was so ill the last ten years I've been accustomed to being alone, yet not alone. I took over the things he once did in our marriage--but as sick as he was, I drew strength from being able to hold his hand or kiss his forehead. Now God will really have to step up, ya know? LOL. I bet He's up to the challenge.
Bless you, LInda
Linda, a pastor’s wife once told me that she did her best writing during a time of depression and grief. I found that to be true for me as well. I’m glad you have a place to write about your own grief journey. Your writing has always been deeply beautiful. Where would we be without the Love of Christ Who sustains us through the darkest days?
Please know you are prayed for and very truly loved.
Linda Shands
Linda,
How beautifully said! When we hurt so bad that there's nowhere to turn but to God, then we can best see how love sustains us. Thank you for prayers and your love. Another writer you know had her husband die just a couple weeks after Brad passed. Seems unfair for folks to die just as the Savior is born anew. Take care and keep writing! Love, Linda
Reading this brings back the big aching, yawning wide black hole of grief I felt in the first weeks following my daughter's sudden death. There was no love big enough to fill that hole inside of me.
So, I decided to own that hole. Feel all the vast emptiness of no Sheila. And then I remembered shortly after her birth, when I was grieving the loss of the "perfect" baby, the message of hope in the words, "Instead of asking God why this happened to you; ask why this happened for you."
My daughter with Down syndrome brought so much light, love and laughter into our lives, she would not want me hanging out in that yawning black hole of grief.
Months later, riding and owning my rollercoaster of emotions, her love is still there. I pray you find the love and support you need as you move through your own process of healing.
Nancy, How wise and beautiful. Having 3 sons with addiction/mental health issues has taught me to value people where they are, not where I wish they were. I feel honored to hear your story. God has a zillion ways to of leading us to love. Warmly, Linda
I pray for your peace in the love and light of the creator.
Thank you so much, Fred "Doom,"
God becomes more present as I learn to see him everywhere. Blessings, Linda
Linda,
Your descriptions reach deep down inside. Thank you, Love, Janet
I feel things deeply and I want readers to see that I see them too. Hugs, Linda
Love’s tentacles…like double-sided Velcro because you reach out to people, they reach out to you, and connection happens, however flawed.
I pray that tomorrow as you celebrate Brad, fond memories fill your aching heart. Please, God, walk with Linda through this day and encircle her with your presence and never-ending love
Love’s tentacles…like double-sided Velcro because you reach out to people, they reach out to you, and connection happens, however flawed.
I pray that tomorrow as you celebrate Brad, fond memories fill your aching heart. Please, God, walk with Linda through this day and encircle her with your presence and never-ending love.
Tentacles like velcro. Hmm, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for the prayers and for being my friend. Linda
I'll miss church tomorrow; and, therefore, I'miss a Linda-hug. I'm sending you a virtual hug now, instead (😌).
Aww Hannah,
I'll miss you too. I may need propping up--tomorrow Brad would have turned 79. Gulp. Love and a big ol' hug to you. ~Linda
Thank you for sharing as you deal with this grief—it made me so angry when people gave me platitudes and “I’ll one-up your grief” comments. Then I’d be standing on the back porch talking to my Creator, saying “I can’t feel you right now but I know you are there!” Grief is a crazy animal.
Julie,
I really try hard to keep in mind that people aren't trying to be idiots. But death's finality scares us into thinking we can stave it off with dumb comments. Loving my kids with addiction/mental illness has helped me see that people are mostly doing the best they can--even if their best is to act like a clod. Love and hugs for this new phase, Linda
You’re a better person than me! Lol! I’ll try to remember on my next go-round that people are doing the best they can.
It really is the truth. :-) Linda